In a world enamoured by IQ and cognitive prowess, a quieter and important intelligence is at play. One that shapes our relationships, professional success, and well-being. It’s known as emotional intelligence, or simply EQ.
Unlike its more academically acclaimed cousin, EQ is the art of understanding, recognizing, and managing emotions. And it is the foundation for turning intentions into actions, resolving conflicts, and forming deeper, more meaningful connections with the world and, most importantly, with ourselves.
What is emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to gauge a situation. It means stepping back and taking a breath before you react.
People with a high EQ can turn intentions into actions, a process involving planning, motivation, self-discipline, and adaptability.
Importance of emotional intelligence in personal and professional life
Intentionally working to improve your EQ is not just a personal development goal. It impacts your relationships, professional success, and well-being. You will have better conversations and resolve conflicts faster.
How EQ impacts your personal life
“Having a fight in a relationship is a must, it’s obligatory,” says Esther Perel, an expert on relationships and sexuality, “the question is not so much the fighting, the question is really the repair. I think relationships follow a cycle of harmony, disharmony, and repair.” The faster you can repair a relationship after an argument, the healthier the relationship.
Increasing your EQ will get you more of what you want because you will communicate clearly. This means expressing your thoughts and feelings while being attentive to others. You will build stronger relationships by making people feel seen and heard.
How EQ impacts your professional life
In the workplace, leaders who understand and can relate to the emotions of their team members are more effective at motivating and inspiring their team.
Investing time into developing your EQ will enhance every aspect of life, making it a worthy investment.
Understanding Emotional Intelligence
Most people think of Stephen Hawking or Albert Einstein when IQ comes up in conversation. But who comes to mind when EQ is mentioned? Names don’t come to mind as easily when asked about EQ. And the names that do come to mind are probably people in your personal life who you look up to. They probably have qualities that are desirable to you, like self-confidence or compassion.
Factors influencing emotional intelligence
- Genetic Factors – Our genetic makeup plays a role in determining our Emotional IQ. Recognizing these genetic predispositions is a crucial step in growing past them.
- Environmental Factors – The environment in which we grow up and the experiences we encounter shape our EQ. Our education and social interactions play a part in developing our emotional intelligence.
- Upbringing and Early Experiences – Exploring our childhood experiences can help us better understand our emotional landscape.
The most important step in understanding and developing your EQ is self-awareness.
How to become more self-aware
How many emotions can you identify? Say them out loud or write them down right now.
In surveys taken by 7,000 people over five years, Brene Brown, a research professor, and her team found that on average people can identify only three emotions: happiness, sadness and anger.
When in reality there are 87 different emotions. We’re not saying you need to be self-aware of all of them, but, self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. And the most useful tool for becoming more aware of your emotions is the Wheel of Emotions.
How to use the Wheel of Emotions
- Identify your emotion, for example, “angry”.
- Look at the sub-categories for anger; hurt, threatened, hateful, mad, aggressive, etc…
- Go one step further into the deeper emotions. Are you hurt because you feel embarrassed? Are you threatened because you’re jealous or insecure? Are you aggressive because you feel provoked?
Are jealousy, insecurity, or provoked on the list of emotions you made? Use the Wheel of Emotions to better understand how you feel and become more self-aware.
Exercises and activities to increase emotional intelligence
You’ve heard it before – journaling, meditating, and goal setting. These will create a foundation for emotional intelligence. And for numerous resources and tools head over to The Mindful Steward’s website and turn your intentions into actions.
Some other practices for you to work on that are less common include:
Embracing vulnerability: if you identify as a man and struggle with vulnerability, read our article “Breaking The Stigma: Exploring Societal Expectations And The Impact On Men”.
Surround yourself with supportive people: build a network of friends who encourage self-awareness and personal growth.
Practice active listening: make a conscious effort to actively listen instead of thinking about what you’ll add to the conversation. Give space and see what happens.
Bottom Line
Emotional intelligence is the key to enhancing the quality of your life. It’s the ability to navigate the complex world of emotions, understand yourself and others, and build stronger, more meaningful relationships. People with high EQs turn intentions into actions, find harmony in their relationships, and communicate effectively.
Invest time and effort into developing your EQ to lead a happier, more successful, and more fulfilling life.
