According to vocubulary.com, the definition of Ego is: “your conscious mind, the part of your identity that you consider your ‘self’.” According to Freud, “the I” is the self-centric decision-making portion of consciousness. He saw it as the portion of our personality that mediates the desires of the self, with the moral and ethical compass of our conscience. The ego in itself is not inherently negative in any way. In reality, it is a key and necessary part of the way we process information from the world around us. No matter what we do, we can only truly comprehend our own experience of something, and we therefore will always have to filter our perceptions of the world through some level of self-centric thought. It is only when the ego begins to expand that it can become something worth combatting. When our sense of self-importance grows beyond a reasonable level, we can begin to distance ourselves from things that bring joy and peace. We begin to do things like outwardly brag about our successes, see ourselves as above other people, or butt heads with any experience or person who threatens our sense of self-worth or superiority. Although the impacts of an over-extended ego could fill the pages of an entire textbook, let’s generalize for a minute here and say the following statement – in the pursuit of happiness and zen, ego simply is not helpful.
Egocentrism is the term used to describe an excessive interest in oneself and their personal advantage (Merriam Webster). It is the inability to put ourselves in the shoes of others, or at least, to respect and appreciate them despite whatever shoes they stand in. It is not ego that gets in the way, it is when our ego consumes us, becoming the central personality that guides us through life. Although in the modern world, ego-boosting propaganda is often shoved at us from nearly every angle; social media, news, TV, workplaces, etc, there luckily are still many practices available to us to help combat ego expansion, or to actively shrink our already inflating egotism.
Mindfulness For Ego Reduction
Since one of the main places where egocentrism thrives is in thoughts from the mind, mindfulness is one of the best ways to reshape our self-grandiosity for the better. This purpose can involve a wide range of practices and activities that are all focused on the same thing: deconstructing destructive thought patterns and rebuilding them for more positive ones.
Gratitude journaling.
Perhaps one of the most accessible and simple forms of mindfulness is journaling. Almost anybody has the ability to pick up a piece of paper and a pencil and write. Unlike meditation exercises, it does not require any form or practice and it can be done at any point in time. What journaling can do for us, is that instead of unconsciously spending time thinking whatever our mind, or ego, tells us to, we can consciously choose topics to spend time considering and pondering. Gratitude journaling allows us to exercise gratitude. It provides a safe time in our day to think about the things we are proud of, the things that bring us joy, and in the case of the ego, the things that are outside of our self-identity. This form of journaling has been documented as one of the key practices of influential people. My guess is that those people find it so beneficial because it keeps them grounded. It reminds them that they too have things outside of themselves that furl their soul and that they feel appreciation for. It is a reminder that the world is bigger than us and our achievements, and in this way, it can be an exercise that actively saves us from ourselves.
Meditation for ego dissolution.
Removing distractions and finding peace is inherently grounding. Meditation is a practice that cultures around the world have associated with ego-dissolution, and for good reason. It gets us out of our head – where self-centric thoughts thrive – and back into the present moment. It gets us into our body, into our feelings, and into rational thinking and decision-making. For most people, ego arises out of thoughts of comparison to others, thoughts of lack, or thoughts of insecurity. Providing a safe space through meditation can remind us that the “threats” our ego flares up to protect us from, are often quite artificial. With the goal of ego-dissolution in mind, one specific meditation technique that can help us is metta loving-kindness meditation. In loving-kindness meditation, the focus of our meditation revolves around the emotional & bodily feelings associated with compassion for people outside ourselves. This can often include those close to us, enemies, or strangers from distant places.
The common theme is compassion. Intentionally focusing on this emotional experience can help us become more familiar and comfortable with expressing these emotions throughout everyday life. On a scientific level, what this does is it strengthen the neural circuitry involved in compassion and empathy, making it more accessible to us whenever we choose to tap in down the road.
Take a mindful walk.
Ideally, this exercise is a practice in the observation of the other people around you. I recently came across an unofficial word known as “sonder”, which is defined as the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. This realization is the key. When we are feeling stuck in obsessive thoughts about ourselves, it can be beneficial to get outside of our cocoon and remind ourselves that there is an entire world around us filled with equally as complex people and families as our own.
Other Ways To Combat The Ego
Join a sports team or a community of other people.
Putting ourselves out there is also akin to detaching from an individual sense of importance. Joining a team makes us an equal on the playing field of other individuals. It is a place where collective energy thrives, and coming together is rewarded, respected, and appreciated. Joining any community in this way also has the added benefit of exposing you to the lives and experiences of other people. Just make sure to not talk about yourself too much!
Volunteering for the less fortunate.
Helping others is one of the most soul-feeding activities anybody can do. It has a value far more important than individual gain, money, or anything else. It is about the donation of time, to help the collective community. Doing so contributes to an appreciative state of mind, the uplifting of those in need, and a respect for how fragile our lives truly can be. There is no reason to place ourselves on a pedestal when we realize how quickly things can change. Who is to say it won’t be us next? Stay humble, and put in the work to remain grateful and generous.
Turn off social media.
Social platforms are all about the “me” – at least for most of us. It is a place where we see the best parts of other lives in a way never seen before the millennia. They are scrolling traps filled with self-comparison, life brags, and everything you need to convince yourself that you need to be prettier, cooler, richer, happier, more well-traveled. They train our minds to either make decisions based on what they bring to us externally, or that we must make sure everybody knows about all good decisions made. Though they have an amazing ability to connect us, managing our time spent here can give our brain a break from all that tension, and help us connect with the humble state of peace many of us secretly crave.
To conclude this article I am going to include a couple of quotes from the book that inspired me to write this article: Ego Is The Enemy by Ryan Holiday.
“We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.” – Dave Ramsay
“If you start believing in your own greatness, it is the death of your creativity.” – Marina Abramovic
In a world that constantly tells us we need to feel and be like someone important, what society failed to disclose to us is that living egocentrically is unfulfilling, will damage our relationships, and will be a never-ending block to our creativity and happiness. Mindfulness and meditation are some of the world’s most ancient techniques for making sure we do not let ourselves get stuck in this trap.
